A New Year to Reset and Gain Clarity

Photo by Kailee Delcour Photography

January 28th was Carsyn's birthday; she would have been ten this year. The morning of our Instagram LIVE, I woke up and had a mini boohoo session - quietly as my husband slept and just thought of everything I'd say that day in front of all of you.

I thought of everything from being so caught off guard that Carsyn was sick. Sitting in the hospital for hours and hours and driving her to Rady's because Palomar forgot about us. From the crazy experience at Rady with Carsyn not being hydrated and no one being able to get an IV in her and poking her over and over and over again; to us saying no more and them sending us home with just pedialyte. There are so many details in-between that we still haven't been able to discuss because it hurts so much. From Carsyn being diagnosed, passing away, having to hold her upwards as we said our goodbyes to prevent the blood from draining from her head (if I remember correctly, they didn't close her up; they just put a bag on her head with stickies to hold it place from brain surgery). From leaving her little body at the hospital to find out her body was lost and administrators had no clue where she was to be released to the mortuary - for several days! To having her memorial (and all the craziness that goes with that). 

That morning, I thought about all the rooms and families we've met. The reason, the season, and the lifetime connections we've made. Women and Mothers like the La Loggia (Olivia's mom), the Pulickals (Zahrabels's Mom), the Hernandez crew (Lucas' parents), and the Khamo Family (Kara's Mom and Dad and my little nephews Zac and Robbie) who God brought into my life as my tenfold. 

2021 was the year we hit a big wall. With COVID, people weren't available to give like in previous years and honestly had other things to worry about. We did one room in 2021. And then, in 2022, we again only did one room. After Silas' Rooms to Thrive™, I reluctantly decided to sit back and take the loss. Last year I sat in my failure. I sulked a lot. And then I had some work to do. 

I was embarrassed. I was ashamed, and I felt like I was letting Carsyn down. I grieved in a totally different way. 

Isn't it crazy how as women as mothers, there's this need we feel to keep going whether or not it's healthy or necessary? I mean, I see and watch moms all the time. We are superwomen who usually put everyone and everything before ourselves. Why do we do this?

Last year I had to evaluate where this comes from. Does this advocacy and this pioneership come from love, fear, or a reluctance to let go? And for me, it's been all three. 

Shutting down last year, I now know, was a form of self-care. It was so important for my family, probably our board, and certainly me because I had to dig and understand my why again. I had to understand the foundations why again and remember and recognize why it is that we do all the things we do. I had to tap in and focus on ways we could continue serving and love on families. Sometimes we get so far into the day-to-day of making something work for whatever our reasons are. For me, it was not wanting to fail, waste my time or others' time (I've dedicated 6 years to this), and lastly, I just didn't want to lose Carsyn again - this is her legacy. 

I realized that missions and visions don't have to last forever. And that we can give ourselves permission to change and grow. So in 2022, there were alot of tears, praying, gaining clarity, ideation, creating systems, and getting ready for a reset. 

I also realized that 2022 was a defining year for many people to reconnect with their companies' vision and mission. Mission around giving and community. How coming back into 2023, many of us are rebuilding, resetting, and recreating. I mean, have you seen GeniusOp's latest story?!?!? My goodness! 

No one was thinking about volunteering or donating or anything in 2022. This was a year in which many businesses' foundations were rocked, and people had to focus on operating systems and ways to make it. I'm so proud of the Little Red Barn Indoor Playground and owner Brandee Green's hustle and grind; Chef Leah at EAT Marketplace; Brandie Kekoa at Bekekoa; Portia James with Behavior Genuis and Mattress Makers for rocking it.

2021-2022 were transformational years. Many people took a bit of a hiatus, disappeared, went into a corner, cried, and are now reenergized to come into a new year with a new shared perspective. 

2023 is a time to get back to our core and why we do what we do. Restore community in our companies.  

Photo by Meg Marie Photography

So here we are - What's new? What are we up to?

First off, has anyone checked out our website? It's amazing. The pages feature some of our work, and we have an updated events page. Our mission and our tagline have changed as well. Our beloved Rooms to Thrive™ program has gotten a bit of a facelift, and we have some new programs that are a deconstruction of Rooms to Thrive™ that we're really, really stoked about it!

We're still a community-driven, grassroots organization passionate about improving the quality of life of children affected by childhood cancer and dedicated to helping families heal and thrive. Yet, our taglines changed to Wellness Solutions & Sustainable, Non-Toxic Education for Healthier Spaces.

Our mission has also gotten a bit of a facelift and reads; we're impacting and strengthening local families by building and providing a community to families affected by childhood cancer; while empowering and educating them about wellness solutions and sustainable, non-toxic spaces.

And then two new programs that I'm really excited about are our Comfort Kit Hospital deliveries and Community Partnered events. Check out our website to read about our other programs.

We're excited to announce our new program, Community-Partnered Events (CPEs), a deconstruction of our beloved Rooms to Thrive™ program. Community-Partnered Events are designed to connect families to community partners and businesses while providing curriculum-based activities focusing on wellness solutions and sustainable, non-toxic spaces.

We're broadening our impact and sharing our mission with more families via our Community-Partnered Events. In a series of events, Community-Partnered Events excite and inform families on ways to improve their family's quality of life —mentally, physically, and emotionally— and contribute to their children's thrivorship in bite-size, interactive, and fun workshops.

Lastly, our Community-Partnered Events influence the intermixing of families in different seasons of life to come together and gain awareness of childhood cancer while learning about sustainable, non-toxic living and getting the opportunity to provide support and love to our resilient families.

AND COMFORT KITS

Remember, we were doing kits before, but it was a bit of a crash and burn. Well, we're bringing them back in bigger, better, and in a more impactful way. 

Comfort Kit Hospital Deliveries are a deconstruction of our Rooms to Thrive™ program in which we take the essential parts of a Rooms to Thrive™ and deliver kits to in-patient families at the hospital. Comfort Kits consist of what we consider essential items for a room in which children affected by childhood cancer spend their time. These items lessen their toxic load from harmful chemicals in their environment. We provide Comfort Kit's quarterly featuring a Rooms to Thrive™ must-have item. We aim to deliver 100 kits to each children's hospital every quarter.

I'm really proud of both of these programs because they will broaden our impact like we never imagined possible when we started the Carsyn Neille Foundation in 2016. 

With two months to go in Q1, we are looking for corporate sponsors to join our impact. Is your company looking to make a more significant impact in your community? Does your company want to be aligned with an impact-driven charity? Become a Comfort Kit Sponsor in 2023.